Answering Machine Messages #92 (Just Kidding) : Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a mes...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 34 (Now - Later) : I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, r...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 51 (Phone Tag) : (Gameshow-announcer voice:) Hello, and welcome to Phone Tag! (Cheers in background.) If you'd like to join the game, ple...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 30 (Family Fight) : Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the b...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 38 (FBI) : This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your messa...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages #68 (Clint Eastwood) : Clint Eastwood voice: Go ahead, make my day. Leave a message.

Answering Machine Messages #69 (Death) : Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you....   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 7 (Telepathic) : This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, ...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 8 (Avoiding) : Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 28 (Satanic Hotline) : Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment. If you would like, leave a brief...   Read Full Joke

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