Answering Machine Messages - 35 (Parakeet) : Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be s...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 46 (Imaginary Number) : We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again....   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages #100 (Metaphysics) : I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or mayb...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 39 (Fun Phone Line) : Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $0.95 per minute! Ple...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages #71 (911) : Thank you for calling 911. All of our operators are currently busy. Please stay on the line, and your call will be answe...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 36 (Deleted) : Hi, this is the answering machine. I am on strike. Any messages you leave will be deleted....   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages #72 (Procrastination) : You have reached the Des Moines chapter of the Iowa Procrastination Society. Please leave a message after the tone and w...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 12 (New) : Well I finally got an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the li...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 47 (On Drugs) : (Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racket:) This is our answering machine on drugs...   Read Full Joke

Answering Machine Messages - 21 (Button Pushing) : Thank you for calling 555-5555. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak t...   Read Full Joke

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