Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich.

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

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